Happy new year 2009…!!!
You know, some people say when the new year starts dun look back, just look forward and thinking it will bring to you just the best of life.
But why i can’t look back neither forward ??? i really can’t go on again…
i was a stupid clown, a clown that i became since that day n until now i m still that stupid clown.
But until now, i finally understand one thing for sure…
That never going to end…
no matter what i do again…
right ?
For “the stubborn one”
Please forgive me
Because I don’t know what to do
I’m trying my best
I never meant to hurt you.
I’m sorry this is happening.
I wish it would all stop.
If I knew how to take away the pain.
I would.
Please forgive me.
I’m doing everything wrong.
but I’m making this harder for myself.
by trying to make it easier for you.
I hate myself more than anyone alive.
I hate my insecurity that makes you feel insecure.
I hate my past and everything I’ve done.
I hate all the things i make you feel.
I hate that i am writing you this.
I wish i could end this now, even with my life
I’m sorry, please don’t hate me…
I want to believe I’m not alone.
And I’m not. But its hard to say I have never felt alone, even surrounded by those that care about me.
Sometimes it feels like I can’t fit in with the people I have been fitting in with for so long.
Sometimes, it feels like I can’t connect with the one that loves me the most.
I don’t think anyone’s able the escape the feeling of loneliness, no matter who they are, what they have, how they live.
It’s one thing that binds all humans together. One thing that all of us share.
The feeling of being alone.
|
I wipe away my tears
and walk like nothing wrong Talk as if im happy Do my homework as im told They say that smiling makes it better It’s true! In others eyes But bottling up my cries Makes me want to die Sigh, I guess this may be goodbye Nevermind, I just dont want to Die But what is it thats makes me cry? You? Them? I dont know All i know is im Unsure Do you have a cure? |
Finally I watched “L Change The World” movie, I was so excited about this movie ever since I heard news about it. I’ve seen Deathnote 1 & 2 and I totally love it and Kenichi Matsuyama as L is just so cool. In this movie there’s nothing related to Deathnote, Kira or Shinigami it is just a plain case where L’s the main character. This period of time happen during the 23 days before L dies, which connects back to Deathnote-The Last Name where L died at the end of the movie.
This third movie of Deathnote was so awesome. I really like the story of how the world great detective-L spent his last 23 days in his life. The only weak point of the movie was no surprising strategy involded! Unlike the first and second movie where interesting and shocking strategy done by L or Kira, in this movie no such thing. This movie somehow turned out into an action adventure movie where as the Kira case it’s more of a mind game. But like what I said, still a nice movie.
I guess if you’re a fan of L like me, you must see this movie as there’s more of his funny action to be seen and shows more of his inner self although he’s expressionless. There’s part where I find it cute like for the first time L trying o make the kids happy by giving them sweets but fail and I find it amusing to see L typing, how could someone type that using 2 fingers with big movements moving up and down.
So practically I wasn’t much drawn into the storyline but more of L, the “human side” that they are trying to reveal which was not revealed in the Deathnote series. It is sure helps the L fans to know more about L which is a good thing. Such as the scene that he finally straighten his back to please Maki and at the end of the movie for the Thai boy, which he named Near at the end. So this does link back to the original where Near might over take L’s place as he’s a mathematic genius. I guess this would be the end of the Deathnote and L series.
After finished watching this movie, made me think what would I do if I only have 23 days left in my life. Made me think what can I do to change this world even for a little thing. Made me realize that I am still no one.
I really3x like the last scene before credits in this movie, where L walked towards the sunset.
“No matter how gifted you are, you can’t change the world alone”. L said that.
L Lawliet - Rests In Peace
Something terrible happened on 12th of May 2008 in China.
As we know, the latest news which shocked us which is the earthquake that hit Shichuan, China on May 12 and it has killed more than 70.000 people.
The magnitude of 7.9 is really terrible. Some of the children lose their family…parents lose their child, they are separated, and they will never meet again, buildings are tumble down, there are thousand or million of ‘lifes’ under the collapse building, some of them just die straight away, some of them are struggling for help, some of them passed away after few days, there are too many deceased until the government have to burn up all the bodies, it is a tragic moment.
What kind of city is it gonna be in the future after this earthquake.
Can u believe that all these just happened in a minute time? In a minute time or one second time, you may lose your loves one, why are we asking for a better life? Killing animals? Creating rubbish, why can we just sit down for a moment, join our hand together, pray for those earthquake victims, is really sad when you lose your love one, life so many friends and family we lose along the way, why can we just stop arguing?
Appreaciate the one who’s always there for you, they might just go suddenly. Take what you have n down it, we might just lose our loves one suddenly, appreciate them n love them like you never did, life is short, enjoy it and rock it.
Pray for all the victims anyways…hope you find the light into the dark…
I wish for happiness
I seek for happiness
To find happiness with you
To be your happiness
So take me someplace far away
Far away from here
Please take me there
An unbreakable spell
a never-ending kiss
An endless dream
Eternal happiness
Kamis, 06 Februari 2008
Bangun jam 6 pagi, yg pertama x terdengar adalah suara tangisan dr langit mendung di luar jendela…ngantuk sekali.
Jam 7 mandi trus sarapan, langit masih trus menangis tanpa henti.
Jam 7.45 brgkt kerja dg celana hitam,kemeja hitam,sepatu hitam,jaket sport hitam plus headset warna putih.
Jam 8 sampe office trus brgkt ke turi untuk tugas audit…msh ngantuk leh, langit di luar jendela mobil tampak lebih sedih drpd td pagi.
Jam 12 siang makan soto + nasi + salad direstoran turi…
Jam 6 pulang dr turi,mampir ke top100 tarik uang trus ke supermarket bli snack,biskut n mie instant rasa "bak kut teh".
Jam 7 ke nagoyahill makan mlm (ayam penyet), udara yg tdk menyenangkan tb2 lenyap,ternyata GL berada di 21 tp tidak saling sapa coz sptnya ia ga sadar akan keberadaan g.
Jam 8 lewat kembali ke office utk lembur kerja.
Jam 11 msh di office n lg update blog di fs menjelang saat pulang rumah.
Jam 12 pulang ke rmh, berjalan sdiri di jalanan yg sepi n gelap sehabis hujan, udara yg tdk menyenangkan mulai menipis…lapangan basket jg sunyi sekali.
Akhirnya ujian akhir semester [uas] telah selesai tetapi sepertinya apa yang telah direncanakan untuk dilakukan setelah selesai ujian tidak dapat direalisasikan leh,setidaknya utk sementara ini TIDAK MUNGKIN…
Ternyata akhir dr uas adalah awal dr mimpu buruk yg baru…
Sebelum menghadapi ujian, g selalu mempunyai kebiasaan utk memberikan diri g sendiri beberapa goal yg hrs dicapai setelah selesai ujian, dengan demikian g akan memiliki semangat utk menghadapi ujian. Utk uas x ini g dah mengariskan bbrp target antara lain :
- Nonton sambungan HunterXHunter-The Green Island yg tertunda.
- Nonton serial "Heroes" season 2 yg g bli ampe abis.
- Nonton film sekuel L yg terbaru, "L-Change the world".
- Nonton film "Dragon-Wars" [D-Wars].
- Beli buku novel trilogy "XXXXXX" [sori,lupa judulnya] yg isinya ttg petualangan seorang penyihir muda dg peri goblin di dunia sihir.
Tp semua hal2 diatas sama sekali blm satupun yg terrealisasi lg karena untuk menyelesaikan smua pekerjaan g dioffice sebelum deadlines, g skrg tiap ari hrs OT ampe tengah malam so sama sekali ga da waktu utk diri sendiri.
G berharap smua pekerjaan g dpt diselesaikan sebelum akhir maret ini,dg demikian g msh memiliki 2-3 minggu utk merealisasikan smua aktivitas yg tertunda, thanks…T_T
“Where Are You Christmas ?”
(Artist : Faith Hill)
Why can’t I find you?
Why have you gone away?
Where is the laughter, you used to bring me?
Why can’t I hear music play?
My world is changing.
I’m rearranging.
Does that mean Christmas changes, too?
Where are you Christmas?
Do you remember, the one you used to know?
I’m not the same one. See what the time’s done?
Is that why you have let me go?
Christmas is here. Everywhere, oh. Christmas is here.
If you care, oh !
If there is love in your heart and your mind you will feel like Christmas all the time!
I feel you Christmas. I know I’ve found you. You’ll never fade away.
The joy of Christmas stays here inside us and Fills each and every heart,
with love
Where are you Christmas Fill your heart with love…
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